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Good Weekend

In an unusual weekend for me, I was able to completely avoid any real work and had nothing but down time.  I ended up catching up on cooking, movies and books.  To be honest, I'm not sure how there wasn't any work to do, but I didn't spend too much time worrying about it (although I did spend time looking at houses online in Kent and Bothell). At work, we were in the middle of an office move and my girlfriend decided to spend Saturday with her brother by going to the Home Show.

I had anticipated seeing Grace at some point, so I had made an effort to look up some recipes I thought she might enjoy.  Her love for all things citrus had me investigating lime, lemon and orange bakery goods.  I ended up taking a shot at a Key Lime Cookie recipe.  The cookies came out okay, the lime flavor is more of a strong finishing taste, but still good. 

They were a bit of pain to make for two reasons that became more clear during this weekend; my kitchen sucks and I don't have the right equipment.  Now, there would be some who would blame the cook instead of the tools, but hey I'm the cook so screw you.  My kitchen isn't laid out properly, especially in relation to counter space and outlets. I also had some trouble trying to get zest from the lime.  I used a multi-faced grater, but it was a mess and not very useful. If I'm going to do this again (or any other type of zest required recipe), I think I need to get a microplane grater.

I also baked a Madeira Cake from Nigella Lawson's book "How to be a Domestic Goddess". I thought this came out much better.  It's a very simple recipe and very tasty in a simple, uncomplicated way. It's utterly fantastic with a mug of green tea.  It's very similar to a pound cake, but far more delicious.  As an aside, I have a thing for Nigella Lawson.  It could be her accent, her sexy smile, voluptuous body, culinary competence or just the way she moves.  I would obviously vote for all of the above. Although it's a bit funny, since Grace was operating under the assumption that I watched a completely different Food Network show, Semi-Homemade, only because of that host's boobage (which honestly I don't even remember thinking about until she mentioned it).

Finally, I made another batch of Spaghetti Carbonara from Ruth Reichel's book "Garlic and Sapphires". It's a completely easy recipe and far better tasting than I imagined the from the first time I read ingredient list.  I'm going to try some of her other recipes in the near future.  It was also nice since I finished her book this weekend as well which was a nice impetus to do this again.

While cooking and eating the results, I watched "Silent Hill", "Syriana" and "Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang". I've been very behind on my Netflix queue so it worked out well. "Silent Hill" was lame, it didn't come off as either creepy or scary. Instead it was about as commonplace as any low-grade horror film and unfortunately provided another nail in the coffin in the genre of game-to-movie crossovers. I really enjoyed "Syriana", mostly because it did a great portrayal of how I would imagine the level of corruption, deceit and pandering that exists in that world.  However, the best of the bunch was "Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang", it was written and directed by Shane Black (writer of "Lethal Weapon", "The Last Boy Scout" and "The Long Kiss Goodnight").  It was terrific and very funny, even with the level of self-awareness it exhibits during the story.  I can't remember the last time that I was laughing out loud along with a movie, it had some really great lines. It was good enough that I called my friend halfway through the movie and told him to go rent it immediately.

In between all of this I was able to finish a couple books:

Garlic and Sapphires - As mentioned before, this was interesting. She gets into great detail about her efforts to disguise herself during her work as the food critic.  Her stories are interesting and the differences between the common folks and the "recognized" are expected, but still frustrating (speaking as a clearly defined member of the common crowd).

The Warrior Elite - This is an inside look at the training of a SEAL class, specifically 228. I've seen TV shows on Hell Week and read articles on the training, but this is an insightful look of the daily activities of the BUD/S training for all the phases. Reading the amount of physical exertion, pain and emotional turmoil of the evolutions was interesting, but I didn't figure it would pull me in as much as it did.  I actually got attached to some of the trainees and their stories to the point that I was a up with their success and down with their failure. It was heartbreaking to read about some of the DOR's, especially the ones based on medical issues.  This was a good read and I have more respect than ever for the SEAL teams and their training.

It was a good weekend, very lazy and very rewarding.  I'm not sure when I'll get a chance to do that again, but it was a nice change of pace.

I ate ravioli yesterday

This is something you don't read about everyday - Russian Cannibal Sentenced to 14 Years in Prison for Cooking Friend.  Hey kids, making your buddy into ravioli and sharing the meat with neighbors may seem like the thing to do in this season of generosity, but it's not.  Cannibalism does not make you cool. Now if he had made him into a four-course tasting menu...that would have been trendy and cool.

The best part of the story may be the stock image they decided to use for the story, I think it's cube steak.

Employee cookbook - Yummy

While avoiding homework tonight I came across an interesting tidbit at amalah.com. Apparently, this person received a collection of employee created recipes.  I'm guessing this was a morale building idea of some middle or upper management shmuck who crapped out this plan right after announcing a completely "original" plan to introduce Hawaiian shirt Friday.

The author noted the standard use of at least one bag of shredded cheese in most of the recipes. Which turns out to be accurate, but I don't think that quite covers these nightmare concoctions. For instance, take a gander at the broccoli salad in this image. After going through all of these it's obvious that they contain a disturbingly Stepford conformity in a white trash sort of way. Absolutely horrific, in a fun way, comes to mind after viewing these "food" items.  It reminds me quite a bit of Lileks Gallery of Regrettable Food, which is another car wreck of culinary catastrophes.

Dragon Fruit - pretty unimpressive

My girlfriend likes to try new foods and while walking through our local Larry's Market recently we came across a Dragon Fruit.  Neither G nor I had ever heard, let alone seen, one ever before. It looks very odd and is not at all appetizing looking at the outside shell.  While I wasn't impressed with it, G decided to grab one and go quiz the produce stockers about its taste to see if it was worth trying.  After grilling two stockers for a bit she was told that it had an unusual taste but nothing spectacular.  It was a less than enthusiastic recommendation.

Regardless, we grabbed one to try it out and G noticed that there was no price on the bin.  I told her that I didn't care and sarcastically ask how much it could possibly cost, it was a piece of fruit (see folks, that there is what's called 'foreshadowing'). 

After loading up the cart with a ton of goodies (including smoked salmon pate, seafood stuffed chicken breasts, red dragon cheese, etc) we hit the checkout line.  I was watching while the cashier was ringing us out and the friggin' fruit was $5.40. I didn't really care, I can afford the five bucks, but holy crap that was more than I expected.

When we got home we split it in half and ate it.  It was striking in color on the inside with a deep, rich pink pulp and many black seeds. It was far more pretty on the inside than it actually tasted. It tasted quite a bit like a kiwi fruit to me and not much else.  We were both unimpressed, especially for the cost - purchase at your own risk.

Almond Poppyseed overdose

I've always been a fan of poppyseed muffins, especially almond and lemon.  Due to a bit of boredom and a frighteningly significant amount of work avoidance, I managed to whip up a double batch of almond poppyseed muffins yesterday. No, they weren't from scratch, I didn't have that much ambition.  However, I'm currently in a state of muffin distress (or maybe distention is more accurate). I stopped counting after eight since yesterday, but woke up later in a pile of my own crumbly mess. I think if I were to cry right now it would be the dry, black sprinkle of seeds instead of the sweet saline taste of sadness.  I hate and love my miserable life right now...

Entomaphagy tastes good

I'm always up for new food experiences. I like odd foods and I'm willing to try anything once, including some ill-chosen food-on-a-dare bets. A long while back I remembered reading about insects as a viable protein food choice. There were also some TV news features, done more for the shock value than anything else. Insects are much more common as a dish in Asia and for whatever reason has not made it over here.

I completely forgot about the whole thing until today. I was watching a Food Network show "Unwrapped" (hosted by Marc Summers a former kid's TV show host who battled OCD and won) and they had an episode entitled "I Dare You Candy". They were showing candy that had edible insects, ants, crickets, mealworms and...wait for it....scorpions. Yummy, I hope.

A quick Google search returned quite a few hits for edible scorpions. Apparently, there are also liquor infused candies, such as the Vodka Scorpion Lollipop and the Tequila Mealworm Lollipop. That's pretty cool.

Tomorrow, I'm going to hit InsectCandy.com and order a couple of the liquor flavored lollipops, cricket suckers, ant candy and, of course, the scorpion candy (real scorpion embedded in a toffee hard candy).

Now, as I said, I'm going to order a couple of each type. I'm willing to go down this road alone, but I think it would be much more fun to share the ride with someone. I can't see my girlfriend trying this out, although she has surprised me before, so who knows. I think it won't be difficult handing these out after lunch one day and see what happens. I would be surprised, and a bit disappointed, if everyone else considered it too gross to try.

Cocoa crop in danger?

According to this BBC article diseases have been devastating the cocoa crops in South America. Apparently, "witches' broom" and "frosty pod" are fungal infections to the plants and have cost 200,000 workers their jobs. The worry is that an infected plant that visually looks fine will make it to Africa and then the pain will really start.

Hey, I now have a flimsy excuse for hoarding disturbingly large stockpiles of chocolate bars. At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Okay, South America only produces 10% of the world's supply but I'm betting early on unintended consequences.

Last Day of the Year and Last Meal on Earth

I'm not sure why but it seems the Texas Dept. of Corrections has removed the link that listed all the final meals of their death row inmates, well previous inmates since they are now dead, but you get the idea. For some reason it is fascinating to me to see what goes through a person's mind for a last meal. Whether it is some insane portions of fried foods, no worry about heart disease obviously, or simple light meals. I realize it's a bit morbid, but still interesting. I found another site that list the last meals and some other assorted tidbits, if you are interested.

Dead Man Eating